She preferred my tongue or my fingers
I mentally recited the names of the authors and titles on the program, the translations, then the introductions and the conclusions that I had learned by heart, the main lines. I scratched my tights with my nails. Once a hole was drilled, I pulled to remove it again, to see the nylon crack. Fortunately, my tights were flesh-colored. If I had done that in the winter, with black tights, I would have looked like a trail.
I could not stand the three days that separated me from my oral that took place in another school that mine to A. The pressure came down a little at night when I rolled my quilt ball to lie on this mass Cotton and waving but it was not enough. The day before the exam, I could not really get to sleep. It was terrible. It was hot. Outside, I heard the clatter of glasses and cutlery, laughter and cars that told the life that ran away from my anxiety to ridicule me the next day at 8:45.
As usual, I slept naked and my hands ran through me with the same frequency as boys of my age. I was not afraid to say that I was a girl and that I was not afraid of my body. Yes, I was afraid of an oral Greek but I was not afraid to say without blushing that I masturbated, most often thinking of nothing, locked in my pleasure to wet the sheets, to leave thus an outrageous trace in the manner of Anthropometry of Klein’s blue period.
But that night, I thought about Lou. We were in high school together, we stayed in our corner as two unsuitable without really understanding why we did not succeed to be like them, the others. Lou was beautiful with a beauty at its peak already. She had curly hair that made her want to sleep with her head in the crook of her neck, to watch her face change color under the effect of pleasure and to hear her moan like a bird of prey.
I wanted to know if she preferred my tongue or my fingers. I imagined her shaking gently, patting her crotch by surprise, sliding my fingers into her, ensuring that she wakes up with each finger added. Putting my mouth on the parts of her that I made it bloom even more under the effect of my tongue that sometimes religiously touched, sometimes eagerly, her clit that rushed without scandal, asking for sweetness and wisdom. I added my saliva to her wet while my fingers searched, searched, bent slightly and then managed to find his enjoyment.
Suddenly, my muscles became heavy as monuments, they were hot and sizzled with a numbness that made me cry. Outside, there were no more noises. The lampposts set their sights on the pavement. It was 2:47. I knew that from now on I would be able to fall asleep.
At 6:00, my alarm clock rang. I reprogrammed it at 6:10. I got up. My parents were there in love. They smiled at me saying that they wanted to be both there to take me to my exam. I found it a little tacky but I was in a great mood. I thanked them with a smile too and grabbed a slice of bread. My eyes still shone with memories of a pleasure I had never experienced when I added butter and apricot jam on the crumb.
I smiled with a full smile, my face probably painted with desire. “Annabelle? I raised my head, trying in vain to offer a neutral face again. “Why are you smiling like that? It’s your voice that makes you that effect? Do you think you’ll find a good teacher? “Joked my mother.